Due to popular demand, today myself and Leanne would like to give you our 20 tips to surviving long-distance relationship. Just a little bit of background to our relationship. Leanne is currently in college while I am a full-time engineer. We live on opposite sides of the country (although Ireland is not that big). I work Mon-Fri and Leanne is in college Mon-Fri. We both try and see each other on weekends. However, this is not always possible due to other commitments whether it is family, friends, work etc. However, we have been in long-distance relationship for almost two years now and in that time we have learned a thing or two of how to cope with it, through either mistakes made or trial & error and we feel that we are in better place now than ever before. We would like to share some of the tips on long-distance relationship with you and hopefully some of you if not all of you take something from it.
There are a vast majority of people who believe that a long-distance relationship never works out. Many people say it is never going to be easy and that the extra distance makes many goals and needs unrealistic and un-achievable. Things do get complicated and you feel a great sense of loneliness and sadness at times. However, the beauty of the extra distance is that it results in the simplest things being the most cherished; kisses in the morning, spending time on the couch together laughing till you cry, and even just holding your partners hand, these small and sentimental tasks in an everyday normal relationship become so much more and have so much meaning in a long-distance relationship.
In this blog we are going to give 20 tips on making a long-distance relationship work. Let’s not fool ourselves long distance is a lot of hard work and sacrifice but, when you find the right person no distance is ever long enough to make it not work. Below tips will not work for everyone, some will some wont, but it might help some who are struggling to stay in a long-distance relationship. Let’s dive in!
- Set Ground Rules
From the outset ground rules will need to be set. Every relationship is built on ground rules and long-distance relationship is no different. However, by setting ground rules from the beginning it creates a platform for both of you to work on. It ensures both of you are on the same page and it allows both of you a sense of understanding of the position both of you are in. Rules can be anything ranging from something serious to something small.
As any relationship, regular communication is key. Once both partners are on the same page it make things a lot easier. This is even more important in long-distance relationship. Regular communication is vital. In this modern world of technology, communication is that bit more accessible and must certainly be availed of.
Since you are away from your partner for a long period of time and only see him/her during a short window of opportunity (every weekend for me and Leanne) it is important that you compromise and make time for each other during your busy schedule, responsibilities etc.
Being honest with your partner with all aspects of life is very important and this is even more so when it comes to long distance relationship. Honesty builds trust, love and understanding between you and your partner that makes long distance that bit easier by bring you both closer.
- Keep Each Other Updated On Your Everyday Life
Constant update on each other’s life, whether it is what you ate for breakfast or who you met that day or a funny story your heard in work/college, it all helps. It brings your closer together and furthermore helps you to bridge the gap of the long distance.
- Video Call
One of the toughest aspects of long terms relationship is not seeing your partners “cute” face all the time. This is where Video Calling comes in handy. Seeing your partners face, emotions, laughter etc. helps to stay close to your partner.
- Coming To Terms With Not Being Together For Birthdays and Special Occasions
This is one of the toughest aspects of long term relationship. Spending special occasions with your partner is one of the most exciting things in life. However, when life gets in the way and you and your partner are living apart it is very difficult to get the same excitement on those special occasions without your other half. Although, for most of us long-distance relationship is a temporary situation, it is a tough aspect of the relationship to come to terms with. You need to try your best to make it for as many special occasions as possible, however, its no secret that neither of you will be able to make it to all of the occasions and this needs to be understood and accepted as soon as possible in the relationship.
This is possibly the most important aspect of any relationship, especially long distance one. Both partners must be willing to sacrifice some part of their life in order to make time for one another. Time you do spent with your partner is precision, but life gets in the away a lot of the time. This is where you must sacrifice some aspect of your daily life in order to facilitate your relationship.
- The Importance Of Good Morning and Good Night Messages
A very small, yet vital part of coping with long distance relationship. A simply good night or good morning message could brighten both partners day/night. It shows love and care that’s allows you grow closer to your partner without being side by side all day every day.
- Be Ready For A Lot Of Fights At The Beginning.
Arguments and “fights” are normal with any relationship. In some ways it is healthy. However. Due to the strained nature of a long-distance relationship, these arguments or fights can be escalated. Once you are prepared to accept this aspect of the relationship and decide to deal with each argument/fight on its merits when it happens then you are well on your way to success of making long-distance relationship work. You need to understand each other’s point of view and prepare to sacrifice (#8) where possible in order to facilitate the other half’s wishes/desires.
- Find a Common Factor That You Both Relate To.
This could be as simple as a TV show, movie, hobby etc. Having a common factor of interest allows you grow closer together by sharing views, opinions, stories etc. on such common factor. Every relationship thrives on common interest and long-distance relationship is no different.
- Meet as Much As Possible
When you can, try and meet up and spend time together as much as possible. This will help you grow and develop your relationship. It is difficult for relationship to thrive without regular meet up. The more you can do it the better. The more you meet up the less of a strain it is on both of you when you both are apart.
- Importance Of Special Occasions
Going away for meals, trips away, visiting different attractions etc. is also very important. It is good to meet up and spend time together, however, when you both share pleasant special occasions it always bring you closer together.
- Importance Of Balance
This point relates to Tip #3. We all live hectic lives, whether we must meet up with our friends for a get together, sport commitments, work commitments, family commitments etc. it is very hard to gain a balance in your life. Therefore, it is even more so important in long-distance relationship. By striving to achieve a balanced life (almost impossible to get 100% perfect) you can ensure all other aspects of your life are taken care off, so you don’t feel pressurised or overwhelmed keeping the long distance relationship afloat.
- Plan For The Future
This could be a nice yet scary exercise. Myself and Leanne recently discussed our ambitious plans of our dreams places to travel which excited both of us greatly. We seem to share a common goal to travel and see the world in the future, therefore it helps us deal with the current long-distance situation, as we both know, better times are ahead and that is exciting.
- Stay Focused On Why You Are Together
This is vital. By constantly reminding yourself why you are with your partner you will fall more and more in love with him/her. There is a reason why you are your partner are giving the long distance a shot. There could be 1001 reasons why you love your other half, constantly remind yourself of that and remind each other that so you both feel that it is worth the commitment.
- Don’t See Long Distance As A Negative Just Because There Is Stigma Associated With It
In our modern society it seems like there are a lot of aspects of our lives that are under scrutiny. It seems everybody has a negative opinion on all aspects of life. There is a negative stigma against long distance relationship. To be honest I think such “sigma” was created by those who are too weak to keep long distance relationship afloat. When we as humans can’t do something, we always like to put others down for trying to do the same thing. Its natural part of human life. However, just because few people couldn’t make it work, doesn’t mean the whole world should stop trying. There are plenty of examples of long-distance relationship succeeding.
- Be Proud Of Your Hard Work And Achievement Of Working For Each Other To Make It Work
Be proud of your commitment to one another. Be proud of your sacrifice to one another and be proud of doing so together. Long distance relationship is not easy. However, is is massively rewarding. Be proud of all your achievement for making it work. It is not all doom and gloom.
- It Is A Team Effort
Long-distance relationship same as any relationship is a team effort. You must always understand that you both are in this together. You must motivate, encourage, excite and support each other on all aspects of relationship. This will bring you closer to your partner. Once you both understand that you both need each other and that anything is possible when you attempt this together, then anything IS possible and it will be soon become clear that long distance or not, a team is a team and a team always thrives and develops together.
By putting your trust in your partner, it creates a bond that will only bring you closer together. By both partners trusting one another and working hard to keep such trust of one another, it allows love to blossom into something special. Whether it is a long-distance relationship or not, once both partners trust each other, it creates a special connection. Having trust in your partner makes long distance relationship a lot easier.
There you have it, our top 20 tips on surviving long distance relationship. Not all of the will relate to everyone, however, we hope some of them help others in their quest to making long-distance relationship work. Please feel free to pose any questions you wish to myself and Leanne and I will answer them on behalf of myself and Leanne. Just to irritate, long distance relationship is not easy. It requires work. However, if it is for someone you love then it is no longer seen as “work”. Please feel free to share you views and opinions below and I hope you all enjoyed this blog. If you would like to hear more tips, advice or other on our relationship, please let us know in the comments below.
Thank you all again and see you all on the next one.