Hi everyone,

Due to popular demand, today myself and Leanne would like to give you our 20 tips to surviving long-distance relationship. Just a little bit of background to our relationship. Leanne is currently in college while I am a full-time engineer. We live on opposite sides of the country (although Ireland is not that big). I work Mon-Fri and Leanne is in college Mon-Fri. We both try and see each other on weekends. However, this is not always possible due to other commitments whether it is family, friends, work etc. However, we have been in long-distance relationship for almost two years now and in that time we have learned a thing or two of how to cope with it, through either mistakes made or trial & error and we feel that we are in better place now than ever before. We would like to share some of the tips on long-distance relationship with you and hopefully some of you if not all of you take something from it.

There are a vast majority of people who believe that a long-distance relationship never works out. Many people say it is never going to be easy and that the extra distance makes many goals and needs unrealistic and un-achievable. Things do get complicated and you feel a great sense of loneliness and sadness at times. However, the beauty of the extra distance is that it results in the simplest things being the most cherished; kisses in the morning, spending time on the couch together laughing till you cry, and even just holding your partners hand, these small and sentimental tasks in an everyday normal relationship become so much more and have so much meaning in a long-distance relationship.

In this blog we are going to give 20 tips on making a long-distance relationship work. Let’s not fool ourselves long distance is a lot of hard work and sacrifice but, when you find the right person no distance is ever long enough to make it not work. Below tips will not work for everyone, some will some wont, but it might help some who are struggling to stay in a long-distance relationship. Let’s dive in!

  1. Set Ground Rules

From the outset ground rules will need to be set. Every relationship is built on ground rules and long-distance relationship is no different. However, by setting ground rules from the beginning it creates a platform for both of you to work on. It ensures both of you are on the same page and it allows both of you a sense of understanding of the position both of you are in. Rules can be anything ranging from something serious to something small.

  1. Communicate

As any relationship, regular communication is key. Once both partners are on the same page it make things a lot easier. This is even more important in long-distance relationship. Regular communication is vital. In this modern world of technology, communication is that bit more accessible and must certainly be availed of.

  1. Compromise

Since you are away from your partner for a long period of time and only see him/her during a short window of opportunity (every weekend for me and Leanne) it is important that you compromise and make time for each other during your busy schedule, responsibilities etc.

  1. Honesty

Being honest with your partner with all aspects of life is very important and this is even more so when it comes to long distance relationship. Honesty builds trust, love and understanding between you and your partner that makes long distance that bit easier by bring you both closer.

  1. Keep Each Other Updated On Your Everyday Life

Constant update on each other’s life, whether it is what you ate for breakfast or who you met that day or a funny story your heard in work/college, it all helps. It brings your closer together and furthermore helps you to bridge the gap of the long distance.

  1. Video Call

One of the toughest aspects of long terms relationship is not seeing your partners “cute” face all the time. This is where Video Calling comes in handy. Seeing your partners face, emotions, laughter etc. helps to stay close to your partner.

  1. Coming To Terms With Not Being Together For Birthdays and Special Occasions

This is one of the toughest aspects of long term relationship. Spending special occasions with your partner is one of the most exciting things in life. However, when life gets in the way and you and your partner are living apart it is very difficult to get the same excitement on those special occasions without your other half. Although, for most of us long-distance relationship is a temporary situation, it is a tough aspect of the relationship to come to terms with. You need to try your best to make it for as many special occasions as possible, however, its no secret that neither of you will be able to make it to all of the occasions and this needs to be understood and accepted as soon as possible in the relationship.

  1. Sacrifice

This is possibly the most important aspect of any relationship, especially long distance one. Both partners must be willing to sacrifice some part of their life in order to make time for one another. Time you do spent with your partner is precision, but life gets in the away a lot of the time. This is where you must sacrifice some aspect of your daily life in order to facilitate your relationship.

  1. The Importance Of Good Morning and Good Night Messages

A very small, yet vital part of coping with long distance relationship. A simply good night or good morning message could brighten both partners day/night. It shows love and care that’s allows you grow closer to your partner without being side by side all day every day.

  1. Be Ready For A Lot Of Fights At The Beginning.

Arguments and “fights” are normal with any relationship. In some ways it is healthy. However. Due to the strained nature of a long-distance relationship, these arguments or fights can be escalated. Once you are prepared to accept this aspect of the relationship and decide to deal with each argument/fight on its merits when it happens then you are well on your way to success of making long-distance relationship work. You need to understand each other’s point of view and prepare to sacrifice (#8) where possible in order to facilitate the other half’s wishes/desires.

  1. Find a Common Factor That You Both Relate To.

This could be as simple as a TV show, movie, hobby etc. Having a common factor of interest allows you grow closer together by sharing views, opinions, stories etc. on such common factor. Every relationship thrives on common interest and long-distance relationship is no different.

  1. Meet as Much As Possible

When you can, try and meet up and spend time together as much as possible. This will help you grow and develop your relationship. It is difficult for relationship to thrive without regular meet up. The more you can do it the better. The more you meet up the less of a strain it is on both of you when you both are apart.

  1. Importance Of Special Occasions

Going away for meals, trips away, visiting different attractions etc. is also very important. It is good to meet up and spend time together, however, when you both share pleasant special occasions it always bring you closer together.

  1. Importance Of Balance

This point relates to Tip #3. We all live hectic lives, whether we must meet up with our friends for a get together, sport commitments, work commitments, family commitments etc. it is very hard to gain a balance in your life. Therefore, it is even more so important in long-distance relationship. By striving to achieve a balanced life (almost impossible to get 100% perfect) you can ensure all other aspects of your life are taken care off, so you don’t feel pressurised or overwhelmed keeping the long distance relationship afloat.

  1. Plan For The Future

This could be a nice yet scary exercise. Myself and Leanne recently discussed our ambitious plans of our dreams places to travel which excited both of us greatly. We seem to share a common goal to travel and see the world in the future, therefore it helps us deal with the current long-distance situation, as we both know, better times are ahead and that is exciting.

  1. Stay Focused On Why You Are Together

This is vital. By constantly reminding yourself why you are with your partner you will fall more and more in love with him/her. There is a reason why you are your partner are giving the long distance a shot. There could be 1001 reasons why you love your other half, constantly remind yourself of that and remind each other that so you both feel that it is worth the commitment.

  1. Don’t See Long Distance As A Negative Just Because There Is Stigma Associated With It

In our modern society it seems like there are a lot of aspects of our lives that are under scrutiny. It seems everybody has a negative opinion on all aspects of life. There is a negative stigma against long distance relationship. To be honest I think such “sigma” was created by those who are too weak to keep long distance relationship afloat. When we as humans can’t do something, we always like to put others down for trying to do the same thing. Its natural part of human life. However, just because few people couldn’t make it work, doesn’t mean the whole world should stop trying. There are plenty of examples of long-distance relationship succeeding.

  1. Be Proud Of Your Hard Work And Achievement Of Working For Each Other To Make It Work

Be proud of your commitment to one another. Be proud of your sacrifice to one another and be proud of doing so together. Long distance relationship is not easy. However, is is massively rewarding. Be proud of all your achievement for making it work. It is not all doom and gloom.

  1. It Is A Team Effort

Long-distance relationship same as any relationship is a team effort. You must always understand that you both are in this together. You must motivate, encourage, excite and support each other on all aspects of relationship. This will bring you closer to your partner. Once you both understand that you both need each other and that anything is possible when you attempt this together, then anything IS possible and it will be soon become clear that long distance or not, a team is a team and a team always thrives and develops together.

  1. Trust

By putting your trust in your partner, it creates a bond that will only bring you closer together. By both partners trusting one another and working hard to keep such trust of one another, it allows love to blossom into something special. Whether it is a long-distance relationship or not, once both partners trust each other, it creates a special connection. Having trust in your partner makes long distance relationship a lot easier.

There you have it, our top 20 tips on surviving long distance relationship. Not all of the will relate to everyone, however, we hope some of them help others in their quest to making long-distance relationship work. Please feel free to pose any questions you wish to myself and Leanne and I will answer them on behalf of myself and Leanne. Just to irritate, long distance relationship is not easy. It requires work. However, if it is for someone you love then it is no longer seen as “work”. Please feel free to share you views and opinions below and I hope you all enjoyed this blog. If you would like to hear more tips, advice or other on our relationship, please let us know in the comments below.

Thank you all again and see you all on the next one.

71 Comments

    1. Hi Aisling,

      I don’t think there is a specific answer to this question. It all depends on the couple and their personality etc. There are too many factors to consider.
      I just think the faster both of you in the relationship come to terms that compromise is vital for survival and are both willing to compromise then its a huge step forward towards a more fruitful relationship. It all needs to be done as a team.

      Like

    1. Daniel,

      Yes they are. Even if they weren’t, its none of their business. I am a grown man and she is a grown woman so we decide things for ourselves no matter what others (family or friends) think we should do.

      Like

    1. Hi Jenny,
      When I became more and more excited to spend time with her. We had same sense of humor, same interest and we just clicked and when there is clicking there is a spark and where there is a spark you just know that this is somebody that I want to be with.
      It took few months, few dates but when I understood that I could be, i could relax and enjoy myself with Leanne in my company I just knew then that I must give this a shot and so far we are growing from strength to strength,

      Like

    1. Hi Cheryl,

      Please see the comment above where I answer your questions. It took me a long time to ask her out and looking back on it, it was much too long. I was hesitant but once I asked her out I knew I made the right decision and not delayed it any longer.
      I asked her out on her Birthday 2 years ago.

      Like

    1. Penelope,
      Great questions. The simple answer is that I wouldn’t be with her if I didn’t consider her as “the one”. I don’t think there is point of both of us working very hard to make long distance work and make the relationship as a whole work if we didn’t see each other as being “the one”. Myself and Leanne are growing from strength to strength. Long distance relationship is tough. Yet we work as a team to make it work. If she is not the one then I am a fool 🙂
      Hope this answers the question. 🙂

      Like

  1. My problem is I see my friends in relationships and I get jealous of how they live with their partners and getting to see them everyday and I am left seeing my partner one night a week .. it is tough

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tara,

      I would like to think that i am. Leanne has told me that I am, but I can always be more romantic of course.

      Leanne, is VERY supportive and understanding. She is caring and loving. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better partner. It is very easy to be in her company and I just know that if I have a bad day on work, car breaks down (i.e Series of unfortunate events blog) I just know that everything will be ok, because I have Leanne by my side. Support is everything and I get all the support I ever need from Leanne.

      Like

    1. Hi Paul,

      I would like to see us living together somewhere in the country, in Ireland with a big St. Bernese dog
      or
      Travel the world together to places where we always dreamed of visiting. But the main thing is that we are together every day and put this long-distance behind us.

      Like

  2. Tell Culture is a communication strategy where you are open and honest with close people in your life about your feelings and thoughts, about what’s going on with you, lowering your private barrier and being vulnerable and authentic. Tell them information about yourself that you think they would want to know.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As you communicate with each other, don’t listen only to what the other person is saying, also listen to the emotions underneath the words. Notice whether the other person seems stressed, frazzled, sad, frustrated, confused, pleased, glad, joyful, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Remember that you are in the relationship for yourself, not the other person. So meet your own goals first in any relationship. Be intentional and consider what you want from the relationship as you evaluate it in your own mind and heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tip: Sometimes bad days and bad moods happen. Don’t go crazy trying to make everything better. Just be supportive and loving, because just being there at the end of a bad day can make it better for both of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tip: Creating small rituals can really help hold up a couple because they become “your thing.” Whether it’s a fancy night out during the holiday season, or watching a certain show every week, these are things that’ll give you both something to look forward to—and it’ll bring you closer together.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Tip: Compliment, and Often
    You’re there to make each other feel like your best selves, so let the genuine praise flow freely. Like their outfit? Say it! Like their hair today? Let them know!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Think of your relationship as a creative challenge. To keep the romance fresh, come up with new date ideas, new sex positions, and new ways to demonstrate your love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Lucy,

      Yes, yes we do. It seems like by us having these chats for the future we seems to want the same tings. We want to travel, have a house in the country etc. I think its good to talk about future as both partners can get a feel if they are on the right page with one another or not. Myself and Leanne have been together for almost 2 years and its good to talk about these things after such long time together.
      It can be a touchy subject Lucy but me and Leanne are a team and we bounce of each other in good times and bad and it doesn’t feel like a touchy subject if it is with the one you love.

      Like

    1. Hi Poppy,

      Good question but this is a question that has many different answers and it is different for everybody. Some people don’t like relationships as they feel trapped but others thrive in it. I myself feel that I a thriving being in relationship with Leanne. She makes me a better person and I feel like I am growing and improving every day with her by my side. It also nice to have a partner to go to when times are bad (they give you support) and when the times are good (they celebrate it with you).
      The bad things about relationship is that sometimes myself and Leanne fight over the radio control in the car, TV remote etc. when we are together 🙂 (wouldn’t call them BAD things though)

      Like

  9. Do you believe opposites attract or do you think you need to be similar? What are three personality traits which you and Leanne both share and have different ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tina,

      Very good question. I don’t think you need to shoe horn relationships into some status or society look on things. People fall in love for variety of reasons and “opposites attract” is a very generic term. However, the traits that me and Leanne share are below:
      Share:
      1. Sense of humour
      2.Understanding
      3. Ambition

      Different:
      1. I am more outspoken, Leanne is more conservative
      2. Leanne is much more caring than I am in general
      3. Leanne is more romantic than I am in general.

      Like

    1. Hi Fiona,

      I honestly don’t. I feel I have grown up and matured and I am at the stage n my life where my focus has shifted from chasing girls and having meaningless hook ups. I am more driven towards my career as an engineer, blogging, perhaps other social media avenues, planning for the future etc.
      Hope this answers your question.

      Like

    1. Hi Eanna,

      Good question. I feel y life is infinitely better with my partner. She makes me a better person and I would like to think I am making her a better person too. We work as a team. If I was on my own I don’t think I be the person I am today. Leanne has played a huge role in helping me to become the person I am today and without her I be screwed.

      Like

    1. Hi Harold,

      No I don’t. Leanne is very understanding and we communicate about everything so we both see each other point of view so I never feel restricted and I don’t think she does either.

      Like

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